my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
