did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
