Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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