She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
