Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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