i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
