This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
