Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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