I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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