do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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