Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
