the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize