When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Randomize
