He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
