i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
