Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
