whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this will be a night to untag.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
