So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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