I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize