Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
