I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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