Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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