Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think my moral compass just broke
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize