Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
