I wish I only lived at night.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i think my cat just said my name.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
