how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
