Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
