i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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