Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
