what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
