I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize