ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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