I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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