This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
