I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
