I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how can u be prego again
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize