i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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