I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
