So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
