Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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