Pants 0. Shit 1.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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