i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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