I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
false alarm, still single
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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