I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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