life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
