I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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