i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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