Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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