i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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