Someone shit on the floor
home. puking in laundry basket.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
