I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
