just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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