I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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