Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
