Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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