You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
