My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
