Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
