Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
