Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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