Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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