it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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