I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
