I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
