I cannot find my penis.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize