I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
MIDGETS
????
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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