would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
